Goose Bumps

Prologue

Life is more than the sum of its parts. In my life, running is one part. Surviving a wild Canada Goose attack is another.

The Story

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Baltimore.

It was a crisp, chilly winter morning. I was in high spirits, and I had rhythm in my feet, coffee in my belly, music in my ears…. I was walking towards my office building.

Then I saw him.

He was in the middle of the walk way. He was alone. He looked like Gandalf trying to block Balrog (I have no idea what this reference means, Google gave it to me. I never read that stupid book, I have more self respect than that), waiting to stop me from entering.

OK OK. He was a Canada Goose. There are a bunch of them around the campus. They block traffic frequently, crossing the road, moving at a glacial place, wiggling their butts, with the full self knowledge that they can fucking fly if they want to. FLY! 800px_COLOURBOX20556388

Anyway, I recognized, with my expertise in ornithology, his aggressive posture. 29063764_10155668136651886_7604993273270156631_o (2) What to do? He is in the middle of the walkway, no other entrances or way to go around him. I could turn around and go back home to DC. Duh… the most obvious option. facepalm3        I moved forward, slowly, acting as normal as I can. Sure enough, he charged, angry-goosestarted pecking (?) with his mouth (?). Then he grabbed on to my pants pulling on it as if he is trying to disrobe me. Scared-Emoji.png

*See that is when I knew the goose was a fucking male goose.* eggplant-emoji

I was like dude, I am not into that… or that…. you know… guys…. or geese. Jeez…. sweat_emoji

So I stayed there, let him take his time, and feel manly that he attacked and won over a helpless human man. man-raising-hand-medium-skin-tone

All of a sudden he realized that he has won and decided its time to go brag to his goose friends.

The most harrowing 32 seconds of my life!   img_4384

And it was a Monday. . How was the rest of that week? It’s a totally different story.

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Epilogue

I may or may not have screamed “I’m vegan you dumbass goose bird, I’m in your team…”

Like my instagram friend stonehill2015 later said, “He must have been on lookout rotation and takes the role too seriously. Like a mall cop.lol-emoji

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The Shitshow

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This picture says it all.

2017, the shitshow comes to an end.

0 marathons, 2 half, 1 10M, 1 10K, 2 5Ks. The last race was in May, Lace Up For RAINN 5K in DC. Had to defer MCM to next year. Missed 2 registered marathons, Virginia Beach and Running For The Bay.

Ran coldest race, 17° at the start of Rock n Roll DC!

Let’s recap. Had a minor adductor injury in Feb. Decided to get a Ph.D on tearing-just-a-hyper-stretched-muscle by running and HIIT. Races in March, April and May. Continued HIIT till November while rehabing.

The reason I finally decided to take complete rest is some unexplained headaches. Like getting hit by a hammer on my head when I land on my foot, every step, while sprinting. An MRI showed unmistakable presence of BRAIN (woohoo) with no major issues but some “white matter” in it. I am pretty sure that is just a high concentration of extra IQ but I am forced to consult with a neurologist, first week of Jan.

Fine, I’ll play.

Doctors – necessary evil.

What learned was it is hard for me to get up and train / run, without a goal! But Katie helped big time (yes still training with Katie), without her I’d be a complete slob, gained extra 20 lbs etc.

Thank you Katie.

What did I do with all the extra time by not running, you ask?

Well, I got much more involved in Animal Rights activism. To the point PETA had to lol-emojipresent me with the following:

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Thank you PETA! I feel honored.

Also elevated my alcohol game. Still haven’t put on any extra pounds, surprisingly!

Tentative plans for next year? (Provided, no more playing macho while injured)

MCM
Rock n Roll DC
At least 1 ultra (I have a couple that I have my eyes on) 
At least 1 trail marathon (yes, I know which ones(s))

The Beauty In The Bits

SUNDAY

Last  summer, in the midst of my intense training for Fire and Ice, there was one “off” weekend, thanks to an injury. I went to Philadelphia with a few friends. It was a Sunday.(Sundays are when most distance running races occur, throughout the country.)

/*A training interrupted means unwise decision making that may lead to self inflicted embarrassment and related catastrophic events.*/

https://ir4ablog.wordpress.com/2016/07/03/old-friends-and-wine-or-alcohol-in-general

As they say, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop (tho there is no “devil”, but you got the idea). In my case, it was an elephant sized boredom and a Large Hadron Collider sized frustration. I started asking  out ALL the pretty ladies and ALL of them said no, as if they planned the response together. Then, as the above post says, there was J.  But I did not ever get a chance to go back to Phily. 

Last Sunday, I went back to Phily, because why not. Went to the same restaurant for dinner, because, hey, good food. Sure enough J was there, different hair but as pretty and cute as I remember. And… wait for it….

She remembered me!

Amtrak. IMG_8405